Hi, I’m Jackie. Thank you for your interest in my journey!
I was in my mid 20’s, a young law student, when I developed severe anxiety. I still remember the day I “broke down.”
I was in the subway, running late to a club meeting as a co-president. My friend casually commented that we were late, and that was the last straw for me. Thoughts came flooding my mind, “I can’t believe I’m late again. I’m not good enough. I never belonged in law school.”
Somehow, I got through the meeting, but I couldn’t go to my family law class that afternoon. Instead, I went to a quiet building on campus just so I could be alone and not seen by anyone. I sat there for hours, churning my thoughts, “what’s wrong with me? I can’t let anyone see me like this. I can’t go to class. Everyone will see how incompetent and stupid I am. I can’t do this anymore.”
Things quickly got worse from there over the next few months, and I found myself avoiding people and isolating myself at home, feeling more and more depressed to the point all I could think of was that I had to end my life because it hurt too much.
On the outside, things didn’t look that bad for me. I was working, leading a few different teams and organizations, getting decent grades, and doing social justice work. I worked hard, as much as I could, to keep up the façade. I couldn’t stand the thought of failure. Somehow, it felt worse than dying.
Fast forward seven years, I’m a therapist, after graduating from law school, passing the bar exam, and practicing criminal law and family law, and then going back to school to study psychotherapy. I’m married, happily but not without struggles. And yes, I still experience intense, painful emotions, which I’ve learned to embrace as part of being alive.
It’s been quite a ride, and I couldn’t have done it all by myself. Along the way, I’ve had friends, mentors, therapists, and even strangers though whom I’ve experienced unconditional acceptance and courage to open myself up and change.
Life is not an easy journey. When we feel lost, confused, and hurt, we could use a companion, a guide who can help us heal and find our way again. I learned it the hard way that there is no shame in needing help. In fact, it takes true courage to face the reality that I’m not where I want to be.
I’m honoured to be considered a potential companion and guide for your journey. I’m committed to healing and growth, yours and my own, and I believe that together we can make a difference because when we transform our own lives, we influence and transform those around us too.